It’s Not About Being Perfect

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This is the Season of putting your family and yourself out there.  Between Holiday Cards, Holiday Parties, services, wrapping, gifting, decorating. It’s the “perfect” time of the year.

But, it’s not about being perfect, life isn’t about perfect.

Purpose and Joy

These two words are what I have decided to focus on for the season and the new year. Before I commit: Is it purposeful? OR Is it joyful?  Is baking three dozen sugar cookies and elaborately decorating them purposeful, or does it bring me joy?  If not maybe one dozen does.  Maybe letting my daughter smear random icing on them is joyful.  Maybe that’s perfect.  I think this year I have become extra aware of how easy it is to fall into the “pattern of perfect”.  Trying to do it all, quickly, efficiently, and all while making it look effortless.

Except that it’s not….and that is the best part!  The purpose of life is to grow, through effort.  If life were perfect, we would never have the opportunities to strut our stuff!  Is every single day filled with endless moments of joy? No.  But, there are little gems of joy sprinkled around that we can always pick up and hold in our hand.  Are there days where I feel like the perfect mom, but the really imperfect wife/partner? Oh HECK YES!  Are there days where I feel like a really imperfect mom, but a perfect therapist? Oh HECK YES!  But, most importantly these roles give me so much purpose and so much joy.  Which is THE reason to commit to THOSE journeys. These relationships are never perfect. Maybe the Holiday Card is, because it’s one of those GEMS of JOY.  A moment, that lots of people we love get to hold in their hand.

Is it purposeful? OR Is it joyful?

When we choose to do things, or buy things, spend time on things or release things. Is it purposeful? Is it joyful?  We recently had family photos taken, and at first, I really wondered if we “needed” them. We did.  My favorite part about them was that they really are JOYFUL photos. Gems of JOY.  Is every moment of parenting, working, being in a relationship joyful? The honest and imperfect answer is no.  But, much like those photos we can choose to view and commit to the moments of these things that bring us joy and purpose.  Run our thoughts around those, spend our money on those, SPEND OUR TIME ON THOSE.  Are we going to deal with things/people that don’t bring us purpose or joy?  YES, YES, YES. Those are the pebbles amongst the gems.  THOSE ARE THE THINGS WE CAN RELEASE FROM OUR HANDS but KEEP those gems. 

There is a saying “Wow you do it all!”, the saying isn’t “Wow you do it all PERFECTLY!”  So, to everyone out there giving it their all to do it all.  IT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH!  Focus on the purpose and the joy.  Focus on how you keep the wheel turning, how you conquer obstacles, how you soothe fears, HOW YOU GET IT DONE.  Tomorrow is a brand-new day.  Maybe tomorrow how I feel in each role will shift.  In my to do list I’m going to be asking myself: What is the joy? What is the purpose?

If I’m worrying about it being PERFECT…chances are it has neither of those things.