Thanks for joining me! Full disclosure, I was someone who worked with children all day. So when my husband and I decided to start a family I had what I would call “false confidence”. I LOVED kids. It was literally one of the biggest reasons I went into my profession. I got to read, play, and teach them all day. I got to see them grow and celebrate successes. Sure there were days where I wanted to cancel a session, take a break, be around adults….but overall I was good with kids. Totally, totally, good. For 8 hours….with a lunch break….and drinks after work with my husband…and a gym membership…and a bedtime and wakeup time of MY choice.
I feel very blessed to have the opportunity to be a Mom. Truly I do, my daughter is the greatest gift I have ever been given. I want to say this first and foremost because it is the truth. I love my family. But, after giving birth that “false confidence” I had ran far, far away. I actually think it moved to another state and changed it’s name because frankly I wouldn’t recognize it if it hit me in the face.
During pregnancy people are always complimenting you. You’re glowing, your hair is beautiful, you are going to be an amazing mother. Then I gave birth…and felt like I got hit by a Mac Truck…my awe for my husband completing a half ironman…gone. The thought that my husband’s job was so nice to give him four weeks off paid…gone. Four weeks?! I might not feel like a Mac Truck hit me anymore….but definitely like I was hit by something. I also started to identify heavily with “The Giving Tree”. By the end of a cluster feeding I was a stump. I had nothing left to give. Besides the indescribable love I had for this teeny tiny human.
I am firmly convinced that having a child and I mean in any and all ways: birthing, adoption, surrogacy, you name it is the Universe’s way of showing you just how STRONG you can be. Just how much love you are capable of.
Which brings me to the point of this blog. After having my baby I became a Mom, which to me was all consuming because innately my mind and body became so in tuned to someone else’s needs that I started to briefly forget my own. But, YOU CANNOT POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP. And so, I started figuring out small ways to largely fill my cup.
This page is a space for lifting up others, for sharing journeys, for sharing light. You may also find some resources on Speech and Language should you need them because it is part of my BALANCE. My professional self and my mom self are both served!
Thank you so much for reading, and remember you’re doing great today.
“Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Part of self-love is having a higher standard for your inner circle” – Mastin